Navigating the Dramatic seas of Cosplay

July 2021 

“What? I would never cosplay with some amateur-hour cosplayers at some amateur-hour comic con!”

I was crushed. 

Here I was, sitting in a prejudging room at a regional anime con, asking a semi-professional cosplayer (and photography client) about collaborating with me and a few others on a crazy group cosplay idea I had for a larger (40-50,000 attendees) comic con coming up in six months.

As shown above, they did not believe my idea was viable, and made sure I knew.

This Semi-Pro Cosplayer was the lynchpin to our ideas. We wanted them to be the main character of the group, and this individual already had planned to make the cosplay. Unfortunately, this individual decided that our group was not at the same level of them and made sure that we knew from day one that we were not in the same weight class.

Their comment made me feel like I was not capable of the same level of skill as them. At the time, they did not know that I have over twenty years of fabrication experience (not that they cared at the time or when they saw the final product). I also gave them a lot of photography and composites for either free or nearly free. 

Since then, I have run into this individual on several occasions. We ended up placing with the cosplay group, and this individual continues on their own path. Unfortunately, their comments caused a professional rift between us. While I occasionally hear stories from other members of the community dealing with situations much like what I did, I decided a long time ago I would not feed the beast any further.

Drama sucks.

As cosplay continues to inspire and bring people together along its northbound trajectory into popular culture, drama does as well. Think about it. You have a large group of people who (for some) have a feeling of achievement and belonging for the first time in their lives. Unfortunately, they do not have the first idea of how to handle it. Because of this, Egos get inflated, honed skills and hacks become secret, and the competitive nature turns into shaming and harassment. 

In the context of this blog, I will break down the following:

Understanding the Roots of Drama

Before diving into how to prevent drama in cosplay, it's crucial to understand where it often originates:

Competitive Spirit

Cosplay contests and conventions can ignite a competitive spirit in some cosplayers. This can be a good thing, a competitive spirit can push someone outside of their comfort zone and allow them to grow in skills they would otherwise leave the atrophy. When that focus shifts from pushing yourself to pushing others aside in an unethical manner, then drama will arise.

Social Media Influence:

The quest for the Blue checkmark and a need to gain additional followers / likes on social media is overwhelming. In this quest, conflict arises when cosplayers resort to attention-seeking behavior. Although the intentions may be pure (who doesn’t want a million followers?) drama will follow if you don’t keep your ego in check. Don't try to use your social media status to get free stuff. Wait for people to ask you for endorsements.

Misunderstandings:

Because of the societal shift from face-to-face conversation to text-to-text, many things are lost in translation. Such nonverbal cues as inflection, body language, and eye contact are lost to a dull screen full of text. Because of this, miscommunications can (and often do) occur. This passive-aggressive style of communication lacks tone and context. Combine this with the lightspeed-paced manner of con life, and misunderstandings are destined to happen. Try to keep things in perspective, and communicate as bluntly as possible, especially in business transactions. Be independent of any outcome, don't start betting the farm on a situation that may fizzle once a vendor gets back from their trip to con.

Gatekeeping:

This is one of the largest concerns in the community. Individuals (Across all facets in the community) forget their roots, and become "Purists". These individuals believe that by keeping out newcomers and hoarding their knowledge they gain a competitive edge over others, and keep their status in the community secure. Most of this stems from insecurity of falling behind in the community or maintaining some perceived status or membership. This can cause a personal crusade to keep the community “pure” of new ideas and new blood.

Insecurity and Jealousy: 

On a macro level, cosplay is a very diverse culture. There are millions of fandoms, groups, skills, and genres across the world that are celebrated. Because of this diverse nature, individuals in the community can feel left out, or become jealous of the attention another member of the community. These negative emotions cause a level of resentment between individuals with the same interests and skills. Eventually, mentioned emotions turn into conflict.

Now that we have gotten all of this out of the way, let’s segue into some of the things we as a community can do to help eliminate some of this unnecessary drama… 

cosplay is fun. Embrace it.

Remember that first day you arrived at a con?

That feeling of belonging is akin to finding an oasis in the Sahara; After years of journeying through social group to social group, not feeling like you belong anywhere, you have finally found your tribe. In the process of Con Crunch, Cosplay contests, Meetups, panels, Photoshoots, and conventions we lose that graceful sense of wonder. That excitement is what makes all of this what we love. Not the awards, the awesome photos, meeting your heroes…Those are all consolation prizes for the true secret inside of the community.  The feeing of belonging, and the passion for your craft that comes with it.

Embrace it. You’re less likely to find yourself caught up in the toxicity that plagues all of us.

Inspire others with your craft. Promote positivity.

Dovetailing with the passion of your craft is the ability to use your craft to inspire others. How many times does someone come up to you, and admire your cosplay? It may be the accuracy, or your craftsmanship. Sometimes, it’s that the person is a fan of the character.  “Gosh! I love the quality of your seams! I can barely see them!”

Most of the time, we will thank the person have some small talk, then get back to the chaos; forgetting everything that we just witnessed. What we miss on is the fact that we gave someone a gift that is one of the most glorious gifts you can offer another. 

Inspiration

At the time, you may not know that individual from any of the others that you run into every other weekend. If you are lucky, you may see them again at another event and be fortunate enough to see that they have a cosplay of their own, utilizing even minute details they may have seen on you to improve their craft. Years from now, they will look back on that interaction, knowing that you were responsible for their successes.

Celebrate the wins, no matter how big or small. Learn from the losses and try to inspire as many people as possible. If you are too busy trying to bring to the forefront the best in others, you will never find the time to see their worst.

Communication.

In cosplay, much like most walks of life, communication is key. Learn to eloquently express your thoughts without slogging through the mire. Try to speak with people face-to-face as much as possible. As convenient as it may be, save major conversations for personal interactions, not just text messages or e-mails. Yes, at times it may feel like cutting an organ out of your body, but it will be worth avoiding the headaches of miscommunications or misinterpretations. 

Communicate. Then overcommunicate. Having a reputation for being a positive conversationalist that brings their thoughts to the forefront is a lot better than being known as a loner who goes their own way.

Set Healthy boundaries

Drama can take many forms. Sometimes, it just comes from pushing yourself too hard. 

There is more than life than your cosplay persona. Burnout and fatigue are real (and painful). 

Don’t overpromise event promoters your time; sometimes it is better to say no when you already have enough happening. Trust me: if you stretch yourself too thin, you will regret the decisions you make while nursing yourself back to health.

Make time for yourself outside of the community. Have friends that respect your passions but are outside of it. Take breaks from social media when it becomes too overstimulating (Actual breaks. Uninstall the apps if you have to!) Setting these boundaries can protect your mental and emotional well-being. Take my word for it, the alternative is not an acceptable option.

Avoid Comparisons

How many times have you heard  “I could have done it better! I knew I should have picked that cosplay! Instead I lost to that *Insert explicative of your choice here*”

Comparing yourself to another may seem like a good idea at the time, but it always lacks context.  Think about the last time you compared yourself to someone. 

Got it? Good.

Now, ask yourself what else you knew about those individuals at that time. Put yourself in their perspective, think about their journey and how they got to the point they were at when you compared yourself to them. 

Really think about it. Write down your thoughts if you must.

Now, look back at the answers you came to. Chances are, you don’t know much about this person, or their journey. As much as you want to compare yourself to that person, you do not have enough information to come to much of any rational conclusion. You fill in the missing information with your own perceptions and put those individuals on a pedestal. Resentment grows based on false information of your own design. Suddenly you have this mountain-sized chip on your shoulder. All from the same level of imagination that you used to create that badass cosplay in the first place. You are on your own wonderful journey. Don’t waste that wonderous imagination on comparisons that don’t exist. Make awesome cosplays instead.

Seek Constructive Feedback

Not feeling accomplished or feeling like you failed is a very frustrating feeling This Blog goes through it in detail. If left to fester, this frustration can easily turn into resentment. I implore you. Shake that feeling. The road to success is paved with failure. There is no need for that frustration. Instead, look for feedback from your peers in the community. Most are always open to discuss business ideas and open to working with you on collaborations. All you have to do is ask.

Don't Feed the Trolls

Ah, yes. The trolls…

Trolls are a pain in the ass. No other way of putting it. Most of these individuals are very miserable people that find some sense of vindication when they make people feel the same as them. Ironically, this vindication comes from you reacting to them. In turn, if you ignore them they tend to go away; back to Reddit or 4chan to find vindication on their own as they have been either banned or ignored anywhere else. 

Feeding them causes nothing but additional drama and headaches. Most of them are not worth the calories your brain consumes when they come to mind. Save yourself the headaches, and keep moving forward.

Keep Politics, religion, and personal drama out of the community.

*Waves flag of neutrality like a standard bearer*

Everyone has different beliefs and opinions (I know I do!). That diversity is what makes our community so great. However, when members of the community begin to bring those differing opinions to bear, strife is bound to happen. This strife and dissention escalate quickly, causing irreparable collateral damage before anyone understands what is even happening. I want to make this clear: I am not saying that people are not allowed to have beliefs or opinions, I am saying that one should not bring it to bear upon the community. A lot of us use the community to ESCAPE the day-to-day mudslinging and want somewhere they can be themselves without judgement. Think of your passion in cosplay like a separate entity.  Keep it sterile from the outside world, and help it grow. It’s a great practice too, because you will see a lot less drama and strife

Drama may occasionally rear its head in the cosplay world, but with the right mindset and strategies, it can be minimized. Remember that cosplay is about embracing your creativity, passion, and love for your favorite characters. By promoting positivity, practicing effective communication, and encouraging inclusivity, you can create a safe and harmonious environment for yourself and fellow cosplayers. Together, we can ensure that cosplay remains a vibrant and welcoming subculture for all.